July is National Child Bereavement Month: Think before you speak

| Bereavement, Loss

bereavementWhen I work with my clients who have lost a loved one, I try to never say, “I know what you’re going through.” I DO NOT know. I can only respect the knowledge that I’ve learned from them, which is we can’t compare our experiences to anyone else’s experience. Yes, I have experienced the loss of many people dear to me; I only can feel my own thoughts on that matter.

I am so humbled by the teachings I receive through the souls working with me in spirit, to realize that there are no two paths alike especially when we deal with death. When it’s a loss of a child, it’s the hardest loss to go through. It’s a pain deeper than we can ever know. It can consume us to the point of deepest despair. One can pull back to a place of no return.

I’m blessed to be able to reconnect them with those loved ones, and bring a little form of relief, to know that they are ok, safe and still close and aware of the day-to-day happenings in our world.

The real reason for this post is: when you’re comforting someone who’s lost a child, or loved family member, PLEASE don’t tell them that you know what they feel because you have a cat/dog/pet that has died. I respect the people who love their pets, because to them they are their family. They love their pets as if they were their child, but to a grieving mother or father, it is shattering to have their most beloved one compared to a pet. This is the ultimate lack of understanding you can offer, even though you just want to help.

So in trying to help someone going through loss, just tell them, “You have no idea what they are going through, but will be there for whatever they need.” AND then BE THERE. It’s not about the words, it’s about understanding the path they are on is the hardest path to walk…One we can only wish we never have to take.